I'm not ok

I guess you could say,
That I'm not ok,
An emotional yo-yo
Has left me feeling this way

My mind plays tricks,
That my heart cant take,
I wish all this pain,
Would just go away.

I don't want you to see,
But I think that you need to,
You need to see that it's hurting me,
To keep up this game for you.

It's not in my nature,
To do that sort of thing,
And it actually made me cry,
To think that's all you're wanting.

I've never been special,
Never felt a real love,
And I know I started this game,
But now I need for it to stop.

I'm crying while I'm writing this,
And it scares the shit out of me,
To actually feel something,
For another human being.

Angela M OBrien
12/9/11