Take your place

I wish he would take me,

instead of taking you,

I have lived enough,

You still have more to do

I wish he would take me,

Your life isn't through,

You have more to learn,

More left to see and do.

I wish I could, Just take your place,

But my time isn't over yet,

So even though I don't want to,

I'll have this pain in my chest.

I don't want to let you go,

I'm not ready to say goodbye,

I don't want the angels to come,

To take you away to the heavenly sky.

I'm not ready to say goodbye,

Why does your time have to end,

I'll be left here, all alone,

Filled with pain, and regret.

I just wish I had the strength,

to tell you I love you,

Before it's too late...

Angela M OBrien

6/10/11

Seize the day

Inspired by Seize the day by Avenged Sevenfold and dedicated to the second most important male person in my life, my boyfriend, Cameron :) (the most important male person in my life is OF COURSE, my son)

Seize the day

Seize each and every single day,

Spend it with the ones you love,

Before you know it, they'll be gone,

Sleeping with the angels above.

Show those you love, just how much you care,

Cherish every moment while you have it,

Never leave anything till the last minute,

Live in the moment, never have regrets.

Don't go wasting, a single minute,

Seize the day, before it's your last,

Never let love be your greatest fear,

Just let go of the fears, from your past.

Each moment I have with you,

Will be a wonderful gift from above,

And not a single day will be dreary,

As long as I have your love.

I will seize this day, before it's my last,

I wont be ruled by fears from my past,

I will cherish every day I have with you,

And my love will forever be true.

Angela M OBrien

30/9/11

Run away

I just want to run,

I just want to hide,

Before I'm consumed,

By this darkness inside.

I try to warn people,

But they don't seem to leave,

Are they bat shit crazy,

Or is it just me?

I try to be happy,

I try to have hope,

But how can I smile,

When I can barely cope.

I hide away within myself,

Push everyone else away,

Until the day when I am fine,

Then maybe I'll let them in again...

Angela M OBrien

27/09/11

My little bluebird

*Dedicated to Cameron J Craig*

So innocent, so sweet,
Yet in so much pain,
For my little bluebird,
Has a broken wing.

I took him home,
Nursed him to health,
Now my little bluebird,
Is back to his old self.

His smile stays in place,
His hope never faulters,
Coz my little bluebird,
Got his happily ever after.

Even though he's better now,
I will never stop caring,
For my little bluebird,
Is mine to cherish.

Angela M OBrien
18/09/11

Butterfly

I set a mission for my friend nechole because she felt like positivity was lost to her when it came to her poetry... Right now, I feel the same... All my poems over the last few days (are not online) have been about misery and emptiness and feeling out of sync with the universe... So i decided to take my own advice and write the same poem I challenged her to write... A poem about hope... It's called BUTTERFLY.

On the wings of a butterfly,

You will find your dreams,

You will find some hope,

Find the will to survive.

With intricate patterns and swirls,

No two are the same,

It's the same concept with people,

Because we're all individuals,

No one can tell you how,

Only you can find your way,

But as long as you, hold on to your hope,

Your courage will never sway.

All you have to do is try,

To find your inner butterfly,

Then simply spread your wings out wide,

And FLY...

Angela M OBrien

21/9/11

Spotlight

I don't like the spotlight,
All eyes on me,
If i wanted the attention,
I'd be a celebrity.

I'm not a fan of,
Being centre of attention,
I'd much rather be,
Hiding behind the scenes.

Wont scream out when I'm hurting,
Or beg the world to care,
I hold it all inside myself,
I'm not inclined to share.

When i'm forced into the spotlight,
I'm like a fish out of water,
I don't know how to handle it,
End up hiding away forever.

Angela M OBrien
21/09/11

Real love

When I'm feeling low,

Feel like I'm losing control,

I just stare at your picture,

And instantly feel better.

You are the yin to my yang,

The macaroni to my cheese,

You fill me with an emotion,

That's rather new to me.

You fill me with hope,

With joy, with love,

I don't know how you did it,

But you found my heart.

Found it in tatters,

Bleeding on the floor,

You picked it up, held it tight,

And made it feel warm.

Melted the ice that kept me safe,

Took down the walls that kept people out,

Never taking a step back,

Even when I scream and shout.

If that's not real love,

I don't know what it is,

But I honestly cannot imagine,

A feeling greater than this.

Angela M OBrien

15/09/11

Open up

Opening up,
Is something I'm learning to do,
Opening up to my friends and family,
Opening up to you.

I always kept it hidden,
Never let people see me cry,
I always thought it a weakness,
Now I know, that isnt right.

Opening up,
Is something I'm learning to do,
Opening up to my friends and family,
Opening up to you.

I'm putting my faith in you,
Letting you see what's inside,
I never want to shut you out,
I promise not to run and hide.

Opening up,
Is something I'm learning to do,
Opening up to my friends and family,
Opening up to you.

I know you mean it,
When you say that you love me,
So I'm opening up, letting you in,
To see my insanity.

Angela M OBrien
14/9/11

Yo-Yo

Up, down, round and round,

That's what it's like,

One minute I'm crying like a baby,

The next I'm just fine.

Too much shit to deal with,

Too little time to do it,

Once I start to get on top,

Someone decides to screw it.

Hurting me, hurting my family,

Me hurting myself,

That's the life of the yo-yo,

How can she be helped?

Angela M OBrien

13/9/11

Game on

You want to play games?

You want to fuck lives?

Well it's GAME ON BITCH,

And you ain't escaping this time.

You walk with your head high,

Like you're above all the rest,

You're nothing but a leper,

A disgusting little pest,

I'm sick of seeing the suffering,

Of my family and friends,

Just because they talk to you,

When will it end?

You need to wake the fuck up,

Smell the smelling salts,

Families and lives are being destroyed,

And it's ALL, YOUR, FAULT!!!

Angela M OBrien

12/9/11

Bloodlust

The thirst is so strong,

I can't fight it anymore,

I just want to rip you apart,

Leave you dead on the floor.

No one gets under my skin,

Quite like you do,

You go round, fucking people's lives,

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Don't you see the damage your doing?

Can't you see the pain you cause?

When will this bullshit stop?

Or do you have to die first?

I'd be more than happy to end you,

Nothing would please me more,Than to see your days come to an end,

Have you cease to be a thorn.

Angela M OBrien

12/9/11

Dedicated to my fuckstick of an ex who does whatever he wants whenever he wants and never has to pay for it while everyone around him pays the price for his stupidity... I'm done... When I see him next... It's game fucking ON... I will end him once and for fucking all... he will pay for all he has done, not only to me but my friends and family as well...

Games

Images, voices,

Plague my mind,

Creating insecurities,

When everything's just fine.

Plays games with my emotions,

Shows me a mass of lies,

Wants me to be, forever alone,

But I can't let it win this time.

I wont let my mind win,

Wont fall victim to the games,

If I miss this opportunity,

I'll never be the same.

They try to tear me apart,

Try to make you leave,

But I wont let it play games,

I want you to stay with me.

Angela M OBrien

12/9/11

I'm not ok

I guess you could say,
That I'm not ok,
An emotional yo-yo
Has left me feeling this way

My mind plays tricks,
That my heart cant take,
I wish all this pain,
Would just go away.

I don't want you to see,
But I think that you need to,
You need to see that it's hurting me,
To keep up this game for you.

It's not in my nature,
To do that sort of thing,
And it actually made me cry,
To think that's all you're wanting.

I've never been special,
Never felt a real love,
And I know I started this game,
But now I need for it to stop.

I'm crying while I'm writing this,
And it scares the shit out of me,
To actually feel something,
For another human being.

Angela M OBrien
12/9/11

Power over me

I'm shocked to say,
That I never thought a day would come,
Where fear would make me cry,
Guess I want you to be the one.

I'm actually frightened,
By the thought of losing you,
And honestly I hate it,
I wish it wasn't true.

It gives you a power,
I swore I'd never give,
You have the power to hurt me,
And that's a rather scary thing.

I go against myself to please you,
That just isn't me,
What is this fabrication,
What happened to reality.

I've given you the power,
Please use it wisely,
I wont survive another heartache,
I don't know I survived this many.

I actually do love you,
These tears here are proof,
If you ever want to hear my heart,
My poetry always speaks the truth.

Angela M OBrien
12/9/11

Rain

Pitter patter against the window,
Hides the redness from my eyes,
Hides the darkness in my heart,
The tears from my cries.

As I stand out in the cold,
Chills rip through my veins,
Soaked from head to toe,
After standing in the rain.

I want to let you in,
But I dont want you to run,
If you knew all mysecrets,
You wouldn't say I was the one.

I cant let you know the truth,
I cant let you, see my tears,
So here I stand, in the rain,
Consumed by my fears.

Angela M OBrien
10/09/11

Baby steps

I'm trying to trust

But it will take some time

Maybe one day soon

I'll be able to get it right

I know I can trust you

Well, most of the time

I want to trust you 100%

But trust is a fault of mine

I'm like a small child

Baby steps are needed

I wanna get it right with you

Don't wanna search again

I play games i have fun

I push against my limit

But it's really hard on me

And I don't think you get it

Angela M OBrien

11/9/11

Losing grip (2)

Sometimes I'm on top of the world,
Now that I have you,
But then I start, losing grip,
And not even you, can save me.

It's like a pit of blackness,
Sucking away at my soul,
I want you to be, my saving grace,
But sometimes it's not that simple.

I feel like I'm losing control,
Feel like I'm losing grip,
Feel my will to try, fading away,
Losing grip on my will to survive.

Made a promise long ago,
To never take that road again,
But sometimes I lose focus,
And suffer a whirlwind of pain.

I know that you love me,
And I love you too,
I just hope that's enough,
To help me pull through.

Angela M OBrien
09/09/11

"Tough times pass. Death is forever"

In your eyes

In your eyes,
I see possibility,
A chance to be whole again,
To be the old me.

In your eyes,
I see myself as beautiful,
No longer a failure,
Anything is doable.

In your eyes,
I see strength,
Something that had long been lost,
Is now mine again.

In your eyes,
I see happiness,
No longer over run,
By pain and stress.

In your eyes,
I see me,
As a being of beauty,
Yet complete insanity,

In your eyes,
I see love,
A greater gift could not be given,
By even God himself.

Angela M OBrien
08/09/11

Evolve

Started off as friends,
Never thought you'd be more,
Now this feeling is like,
Nothing I've felt before.

How did we go from friends,
And evolve into something more,
It's because you were my strength,
When I was broken and sore.

I never thought I'd look at you,
The way I do right now,
It fills me with such joy,
Leaves me saying wow.

I don't know why it changed,
I'm just glad that it did,
Because with you in my life,
I'm remembering how to live.

Angela M OBrien
07/09/11

Protector

It's something I've never had,
Just took care of myself,
Never had someone,
Wanting to help.

Always wants what's best for me,
It's actually kind of bizarre,
I've never had someone care so much,
I've never had a protector.

Someone who always wants me safe,
Always wants to see me smiling,
He'll do whatever he can,
To stop me from crying.

He is my protector,
He's my saving grace,
And for that I love him,
He keeps this smile on my face.

Angela M OBrien
06/09/11

Somebody's somebody

I never felt like i belonged,
Never knew what love felt like,
But then you came along,
Showed me how to do it right.

I've been a possession before,
But never an equal,
You don't claim ownership,
You just want me as your girl.

It's surreal for me,
To be somebody's somebody,
I've never been truly loved before,
But now I can't stop smiling.

Angela M OBrien
5/9/11

Lightning

You came out of nowhere,
With no hints or warnings,
Blew in like a tornado,
Turned my world around

You light up my sky,
Like a great bolt of lighting
You make everything seem beautiful,
Even in the darkest times.

I didn't expect to fall for you,
As quickly as i did,
After everything I'd been through,
But you're just so perfect.

Angela M OBrien
4/9/11

Thunderstorm

Love is like a thunderstorm,
Wild,
Unpredictible,
Dangerous,
Beautiful.

Angela M OBrien
03/09/11

Perfect

You may not lift weights
May not be a rich man
But to me you are perfect coz
You take me as i am

When i'm over the top and crazy
You think it's great
That's why its me
That you wanna date

When i made you wait
Till i finished my six month streak
You did it with patience
Which meant the world to me

You don't even realise
How much I appreciate you
That's why i can't wait
To make it official

Coz you may not be perfect
But you're perfect for me

Angela M OBrien
02/09/11

My little prince

Dedicated to Patrick Joseph Elliott (rip 11/3/05)

Never got to see your face
Never got to hear you Call out my name
Never got to hold your hand
Never got to see you
Play in the sand

My little prince charming
My little boy blue
Never forget, mummy loves you
My sweet little angel, so far away
God called your name
It wasn't time for you to stay

Even though you're gone
You'll never leave my heart
You'll never leave my mind
And if you look down
On my ankle you will find
Your name, tattoed, with wings so devine
And that's where it will stay
Until the end of time...
Angela M OBrien
01/09/11

Tears

I try to hold it in
But I'm losing control
It's eating away at me
At my heart and my soul

These tears on my face
Are proof I'm not so strong
I thought I could handle it
Turns out I was wrong

If I didnt have you
I would surely give up hope
But you're a shoulder to cry on
You help me cope

Angela M OBrien
01/09/11

Tired

Can't seem to focus
Can't get my head straight
Too much heartache and pain
Has left me this way

So worn out
I cant function anymore
I cant find a will to keep trying
I'm just so bloody sore

I have to try
For the sake of my son
But a war is being fought here
I'm not the one in front

This pain is taking over
Gaining control of me
How much more must I suffer
Why can't i just be free

Angela M OBrien
31/08/11

Confessions

I know you mean it
When you say that you care
It makes me feel bad to say
The feelings aren't yet shared

I care about you alot
That much is true
But at this point in time
I don't quite love you

In time you'll see a change
As feelings become real
Wont even need to say it
You'll just know how I feel

Angela M OBrien
31/08/11

Dear Madi

For Madisyn Saunders...

Ten fingers, ten toes
Cute little button nose
Hate seeing you in such pain
Don't wanna see it again

You fight your little heart out
Show your sickness whose boss
We will never give up on you
So don't give up on us

Tears fill my eyes
Heart ripped in two
Watching you suffer so much
Seeing the things they had to do

But you'll get better, I know
This day will be just a memory
You'll grow up to be a beautiful woman
Just like your mummy
Angela M OBrien
30/08/11

Rich man, poor man

Rich man, poor man
Which one would I like
Well I would choose the poor man
And this here, is why...

A rich man buys expensive gifts
Showers you with jewels
But then he's away most of the time
Can't spend it with you

A poor man picks you flowers
Instead of buying em from a shop
Will bring you home a take out meal
When you've worked your ass off

A rich man has troubles with trust
Think you only want his money
So it ends up being his secretary
Who's getting all the lovin

A poor man knows
You only want his heart
So even if he has a job
He'd give you his trust

Money buys a lot of things
But love cannot be bought
Rich men know the value of a dollar
But poor men know the meaning of love

Angela M OBrien
29/08/11

Beautiful disaster

I dont act my age
I alway speak my mind
I have very little patience
And i'm barely ever kind

I'm a little overweight
I have low self esteem
I never let people in
I can be rather mean

I don't say I love you
Not even to my children
Been beaten, raped and emotionally scarred
It's all part of who I am

I'm totally complex
Yet it's still me that you're after
Even though i'm just
A terrble disaster

You think that i'm beautiful
Even though I'm messed up
Guess that makes me a
Beautiful disaster

Angela M OBrien
28/08/11

Love is (3)

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is beautiful
Love is blind

Love ignores you imperfections
Be they big or small
Love is the ability
To see past them all

Love is powerful
Love is hard
But if you take it slowly
Love will surely last

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is beautiful
Love is blind

Angela M OBrien
27/08/11

Patience

Sometimes the hardest thing
Is to sit and wait around
Waiting for the day
When true love is found

Some find it instantly
Some wait their whole life
To find that perfect someone
Who'll make the sun shine

Patience is a virtue
Is what they all say
But i suck at waiting
It's driving me insane

Angela M OBrien
26/08/11

I think

I apologise if it makes no sense... Im very sozzled right now...

I think it's too much

I think it's too far

I think I may

Be falling for you

Never thought I could

After that idiot

Used and abused me

but it's true innit

I think I may

Be falling for you

I'm pissed and still writing this

Guess that makes it true

Too far

Too fast

This can't be happening

I want it to last

But how can it happen

I can't let this be

How can I fall for you

When you haven't fallen for me

Angela M OBrien

25/8/11

(I apologise if it's bad... im very very drunk right now)My mother is gonna LOL... or ROFL... whichever is first..... LOL

Hope

When times get tough

When the chips are low

You make it seem like it will be alright

You give me hope

When I only want to cry

When I can barely cope

You make it seem like it will be alright

You give me hope

When I just wanna stay in bed,

Lounge around and mope

You make it seem like it will be alright

You give me hope

When all seems lost to me

And I'm ready to give up hope

You make it seem like it will be alright

You, give me hope.

Angela M OBrien

23/8/11

Baby girl

She was my treasure

She was my first born

Then she was lost to me

I barely see her anymore

What I wouldn't give

To turn back the clock

To the day daddy took you away

And I'd tell him get fucked

He wasn't ready

To have you back again

Now he doesn't even see you

You live with your grandparents

I know that you're happy

For that I am glad

But I just want my daughter back

I miss her so bad

(*this verse brought a tear to my eye*)

Angela M OBrien

22/08/11

I love you (but i can't say the words)

Been hurt so much

Been kicked while I'm down

It's hidden my heart

Never to be found

Three simple words

That never leave my lips

Can't seem to say them

Not even to my kids

I try my hardest

To show you the proof

But how will you ever believe

If I never speak the truth

I hope that you know

I love you with all my heart

But if I never learn to say it

You'll find it in my art

Angela M OBrien

21/08/11

Dedicated to my family, my friends and my kids.

Missing out

Dedicated to my daughter...

It hurts to know I'm missing out

On all the little pieces

All the little miracles

That happen in your life

It hurts to know I'm missing out

On all the little treasures

The smile on your face

And the sound of your voice

It hurts to know I'm missing out

On watching you grow up

Into the big, beautiful girl

That you are becoming

It hurts to know I'm missing out

On all the little things

That make you who you are

It kills me inside, whenever I realize

On just how much, I'm missing out

Angela M OBrien

20/08/11

My spirit

Never knew what it meant
Never knew what it was
Never knew where to find it
Never knew where to start

Now the path is becomming clear
I may have found a clue
I see a glimmer of my spirit
Whenever I'm with you

Anything is possible
I can reach for the stars
With you by my side
I know I'll go far

Now I know the big secret
The one everyone talks about
About where to find my spirit
It's right here, in my heart...

Angela M OBrien
19/8/11

Sunshine (on a rainy day)

Even when it's cold outside
I still feel the sunshine
Still feel warm inside
Still feel divine

Even when it's pouring rain
It never brings me an ounce of pain
With you I'm not the same
I actually feel, whole again

You make the sun shine
On even the worst of days
You're a breath of fresh air
Even in the rain

When it rains, you're my shelter
When its cold, you are my coat
When I'm sick you are my chicken soup
When I'm sad, you're my teddy bear

You bring something out
I thought was long since gone
You bring out the fire in me
The ribbon around my heart, has come undone

You bring the sunshine
Even on a rainy day
And for that, I thank you
You made me whole again

Angela M OBrien
18/8/11

Close to you

I feel safe
I fee secure
I feel special
When I'm close to you

I can fly
I can touch the sky
I can do anything
When I'm close to you

I feel wonderful
I feel special
I feel beautiful
When I'm close to you

Angela M OBrien
17/8/11

Happy birthday

With warm hugs and fairy bread
I wish you the very best
On this day, your birthday
Gather round and celebrate

Another year has come and gone
So gather round and sing this song
Wishing you all the happiness today
On this day, your birthday

Happy Birthday to you, my friend
I hope our friendship never ends
I celebrate this day with you
I hope to celebrate the next one too...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Angela M OBrien
16/8/11

Rot in hell

To all the people who like thinking I'm nothing more than an attention seeking whore... Clearly they don't take time to get to know me and only ever pay attention to when something bad is happening... They can all go "Rot in hell"

Flesh is forming bubbles
Falling from your bones
You were causing troubles
You were throwing stones

Name me, shame me
Tell a bunch of lies
Make people beleive
Make them follow behind

I know who I am
The ones who matter do as well
So you can just talk to the hand
You can just rot, in, hell!

You will never change me
Make me something that I'm not
You're nothing but a story teller
So in hell, you will rot.

Angela M OBrien
16/8/11

Night star

Shining bright
For all it's life
Bringing a brilliant beauty
To this ordinary night

In greyness the clouds cover your light
But I know your still there
I will wait for them to pass
Then your light I will share

Your beauty can never be matched
Can never be repeated
Can never tainted
Can never be depleated

Even in death
Your beauty shines bright
As a beautiful shooting star
You light up the night

Angela M OBrien
16/8/11

Miss independant

Stand on my own two feet
No one can ever reach me
Never do I show my pain
Only crying in the rain

Never give anyone a chance
To break my walls or hold my hand
Never let anyone inside
To see these tears I cry

Spent so long not knowing who I was
Now I'm starting to understand, because
You seem to see through the glass
All my imperfections, you look past

I've always been miss independant
Never needed anyone to take my hand
This time, it's ok, is what I'm told
It's ok, to trust another soul

Angela M OBrien
15/8/11

Untitled (2)

Like the wings of a butterfly
My heart is a fragile thing
Loving too deep, too fast
Never one for waiting

Lifted up to the sky
Then smashed against the floor
Hardened my heart like stone
Can't let anyone that close no more

Can't seem to trust a soul
Too many wolve's in the field
Pretending to be sheep
Claiming their love is real

It's all just a foolish game
Played by all the fools
Always end up cold and alone
Never can they follow the rules

Angela M OBrien
14/8/11

Second chance

I thought I'd lost your smile
I thought I'd lost your hugs
I thought I'd lost your voice
I thought I'd lost your touch

But now is my second chance
To have you in my life
If I ever lost you again
I would surely die

Second chances don't come often
So grab them when they do
Coz if you blow it a second time
There's no more chances for you

Angela M OBrien
14/8/11

Twinkle twinkle

Twinkle twinkle little star
Why must you, be so far
Just outside of my hand's reach
Too far away, for me to keep

Twinkle twinkle in your eyes
Whenever I'm, by your side
A smile plays upon your lips
Whenever I give you a kiss

Twinkle twinkle in your heart
Coz you know, I'm never far
I'll always be, right by your side
Until the day, one of us dies

Angela M OBrien
13/8/11

Blind sided

How could I not see it
How did I miss the signs
How did I block it out
Why was I so blind sided

Always giving everything I have
To morons who only abuse it
When in my blindspot
Was someone who deserves it

Hit it off from day one
Which I dont usually do
I'm usually shy and reserved at first
But I wasnt, with you

Too early to tell
What could come of this
But it wouldn't be a bad thing
If something actually did

Angela M OBrien
12/8/11

ONe last chance

One last chance
To have everything go right for me
Everything make sense
But I don't know if it's meant to be

Is it possible to find them
In amongst all the greyness
Have they been standing there waving
Trying to get past my blindness

Have I been a fool
Jumping on the wrong trians
Falling for the moronic fools
Who only want to play games

Is it possible he's been there
Under my nose this whole time
Begging for my affection
While I worked through the line

Is it possible that he could be
My one last chance at something real
Or could it be, yet another
Burnt lover's deal

Only one way to find out I guess :P

Angela M OBrien
11/8/11

Dreamer's a fool

Lovers bliss
Makes the world keep turning
You must be stark raving mad
If you beleive the possibility

Love is a dream
Meant to please the fool's minds
You fall for a moment
Then hurt for a lifetime

Dreams are possible
If you dream it, you can make it true
How can you honestly beleive that
Unless you're truly a fool

I dream a dreamers dream
Hoping one day it would be true
But I'm not one for optimism
The realist sees the sky aint blue

The dreamer's a fool
For continuing to dream
Wake up and smell the roses
Get a dose of reality

Angela M OBrien
10/8/11

Dirty Hands

Dirty hands, dirty mind
Can't seem to keep em clean
Always got them covered in blood
Living your twisted dream

Blood soaked tears
From the victims in your path
Blood soaked clothes, blood soaked skin
Turns the water red in your bath

Another victim unnamed
Another blind rage
Another family lost a member
Another filled grave

Can't seem to stop
No matter who you lose
Take away everything
It still doesn't stop you

Everything could have been different
If you could have just kept your hand clean
But you had to keep on hurting people
Had to keep on hurting me

You hands are so dirty now
They will never be clean
And any fragments of being with me
Are no more than a dream

Angela M OBrien
10/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Final Chapter: Jealousy

Love, Hate and other emotions: Final chapter: Jealousy

Green with envy
Can't see clearly
Only seem to want
What isn't mine to keep

Can't just be happy
Always acting bitter
Always been a taker
Not much of a giver

Want what you can't have
Until jealousy makes you green
Just sit around like a sourpuss
Acting rather mean

Jealousy will destroy you
Taking everything away
When you're left, cold and alone
There'll be only you to blame

Angela M OBrien
9/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Nine: Fear

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Nine: Fear

Pulse is racing
Can't stop these tears
Can't make them go away
Can't stop these fears

Love can overcome anything
But fear is greater, still
It can make you give up everything
It can bend your will

Make you do anything
That he wants from you
Fear can control what you say
Control everything you do

Fear is a demon
Living inside all of us
Fear can make us stop living
Make us give up on love

Angela M OBrien
8/8/11

"A life lived in fear is a life half lived" - Strictly Ballroom (dunno where it came from but that's where I know it from)

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Eight: Passion

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Eight: Passion

Heat rising
Heart pounding
We're sincronizing
Two bodies joining

I feel the passion burning
Like a volcano within
This is something different
Not just a whim

Your touch ignites
Sets my body on fire
I feel this passion building
Need to fulfill my desire

Light a candle or two
Make this a night of pleasure
This level of passion
No one can measure

Angela M OBrien
7/8/11

Truth vs Lies

I'm not always in the right
But this time I am
A dirty little liar
Is not who I am

I refuse to be anything less
Than completely honest
The truth will set you free
Lies only bring consequence

Sometimes the truth
Has a consequence or two
But lies are by far a lot worse
Lies are meant to hurt you

Be bold, be brave
Take the good with the bad
But never lie to save yourself
It's never a winning hand

Angela M OBrien
7/8/11

Please God

Dedicated to my grandma who is sick atm and keeps going into hospital for her heart... We aren't ready to let her go just yet so I wrote this prayer...

"Please God"
I don't beleive in you, god
But i'm begging for you now
Please help her to be ok
Please let her stay around

I've never lost someone
Close to me before
I don't want to feel that pain
Don't take her to heaven's door

She's always having troubles
Her heart just isn't right
But please god, I still need her
So I'm praying to you tonight

Please give her perserverance
Please give her strength
If you need to fill that seat
Take me instead

We still need her here
There so much yet to do
So please god, I'm begging you
Help her heart pull through

Angela M OBrien
7/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Seven: Guilt

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Seven: Guilt

I messed up, got it wrong
Always thought I was right
Now all I feel is this guilt
Makes the world less than bright

Butterflies in your belly
Head stuck in a spin
Dont know what causes it
Guilt is why you get that feeling

Make every wrong a right
Never tell unnecessary lies
Never play games with people's minds
And guilt wont be with you tonight

Angela M OBrien
5/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Six: Fury

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Six: Fury

Burning deep within
I feel it on my skin
Building up a volcano
Keep clear, she's gonna blow

Fury burns through my veins
Makes my mind, go insane
I just want you to feel some pain
Make sure you're never the same

Fury ignites my blood
This will never be considered love
I hit the point where I've had enough
Dig in my fist and tear out your throat

Fury burns within my soul
Touch me and you'll never grow old
Never again will you be so bold
As your body reaches ice cold

Angela M OBrien
4/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Five: War

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Five: War

Shed a tear or two

For all that we lost

The comrades we love

Whom the others forgot

Fighting and dying

In this liars war

How many have to die

How many more

Blood soaked floors

Blood soaked hands

Weapons take away heartbeats

For oil soaked land

War is a waste of life

Innocents taken away

Old and young are dying tonight

How many more will pay

Angela M OBrien

03/08/2011

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter four: Sorrow

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter four: Sorrow

Tears fall from your eyes
Heart is ripped in two
When you're full of sorrow
There's no light for you

In a pool of blackness
You will succumb
Once you let it take over
It cannot be undone

Heartache becomes pain
Then pain becomes sorrow
You give up on everything
Don't care about tomorrow

You must remain resillient
Don't allow it to win
You may feel hopeless now
But your journey's just beginning

Angela M OBrien
2/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter three: Happiness

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter Three: Happiness

Building like a tidal wave
Taking over my views
Happiness makes everything
Seem like good news

Even the bad stuff
Is greeted with a smile
The most you can hope for
Is that it will last a while

Happiness makes it seem easier
Even when it's really difficult
Problems all have solutions
And finding them is suddenly simple

Happiness is a great emotion
Makes the world a little brighter
Happiness gives you the strength
And the will of a fighter

Angela M OBrien
01/8/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter Two: Hate

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter two: Hate

Empowering
Devouring
Consuming
Deluding

Hate give us power
But does not make us strong
It will actually make you weak
If you hold it in too long

Hate will devour
All the good in your soul
Leave you bitter and alone
Until your frail and old

Hate is consuming
It will eat away at your heart
Take away everyone you care for
With no way to get out

Hate is deluding
Makes you think an alley of lies
Make you believe they're out to get you
Until you finally take your life

If you feel that pot boiling
Turn down the gas
Before hate burns a hole
And makes everything black

Angela M OBrien
31/7/11

Love, hate and other emotions. Chapter One: Love

I'm going to do a series of poems called "Love, Hate and other emotions" over the next week or so...

Love, Hate and other emotions: Chapter one: Love...

"Love"
Love ignites us
Inspires us
Unites us
Divides us

Love gives us strength,
Power
The will to acheive
The ability to believe

Love tears us down
Leaves us in tatters
Leaves us cold and alone
Incased in stone

Love gives you wings
Love tears you down again
Love gives you life
Love seals your coffin

Love is a cycle
You fall, you break
You heal, you get back up
And start all over again

Angela M OBrien
30/7/11

Weakness

Where did my strength go?
My ability to stand tall
My ability to grow
Where's the one who could conquer them all?

She's a tiny little butterfly
So fragile and small
When it gets tough she runs for the sky
She'll never conquer all

Weakness takes away our power
Takes away our chances
If you sit back and let life just pass
All you'll get is hit and misses

Life needs to be taken by the horns
And lived to its fullest
If you let yourself be beaten
You'll never be your best.

Angela M OBrien
29/7/11

Breathe

This one is a little cryptic... I did it that way on purpose. I left it up to my fans on www.facebook.com/angelamobrien to work out exactly what the poem was about... The responses i got were rather interesting so i have included them at the bottom of the poem.

"Breathe"
Harder, deeper, faster
Inside I feel your power
Tonight it is the time
When you will take my life

My pulse is getting faster
As you keep pushing harder
Finding it hard to breathe
With you on top of me

Never thought this day would come
Never thought I'd be the one
To suffer this kind of insanity
Be the victim of this sort of thing

I feel the pressure rising from my chest
How'd I get into this mess
Just as I feel you come
My time here is done

Angela M OBrien
28/7/11

• 
  
• • 

    Tracey Panton Being turned into a vampire?

    28 July at 17:34 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) Nope... But very interesting guess... Would make a good poem for later :)

    28 July at 17:36 ·
  • 

    Tracey Panton It would. It has me intrigued now. My next thought was someone's soul leaving their body

    28 July at 17:45 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) Try and picture the event in your head as you read the poem... I did that which is what helped me make it so dang cryptic :)

    28 July at 18:05 ·
  • 

    Tracey Panton It sure is cryptic. Its like sex but also like air escaping the body

    28 July at 18:17 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Sounds like rape or what a prostitute endures.

    28 July at 18:22 · · 1 person
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Also makes me thing of a woman in an abusive relationship, or a woman who is using a man just to have a baby and trap him.

    28 July at 18:23 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) Bek is the closest... But not 100% on the mark...

    28 July at 18:27 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson I guess im not thinking deep enough.. but when I read this poem and close my eyes all I can think about is what a rape survivor and thee trauma they experience ever time they try to pick up the pieces of their life...

    28 July at 18:28 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson ‎*their trauma

    28 July at 18:28 ·
  • 

    Tracey Panton Abortion maybe??

    28 July at 18:29 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Well, maybe not rape but like I said, a woman - a wife maybe - that feels they are trapped and have no other choice but to let their sig. Other pleasure themselves.

    28 July at 18:30 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) nope... As I said... The comment of Bek's that i 'liked' is the closest... Think along those lines and read it again... Maybe that will help...

    28 July at 18:30 ·
  • 

    Tracey Panton A woman being strangled

    28 July at 18:32 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Jack the ripper!

    28 July at 18:37 ·
  • 

    Tianna Scott I picture someone being suffocated while being raped... *thinks* Im not that creative! lol

    28 July at 18:37 · · 1 person
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Omg its about a serial rapist/killer? I like the strangled guess thats good too!

    28 July at 18:38 · · 1 person
  • 

    Cass O'Malley My guess is its about a sadism victim

    28 July at 18:42 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Its 1am here and I will stay awake until I figure this out... it intrigues me like no other...

    28 July at 18:43 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Maybe a virgin prostitute or virgin rape victim... as in a child being raped then killed...

    28 July at 18:45 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) Tianna got it in one... Its about someone being strangled whilst being raped and just as he comes, she dies... :-)

    28 July at 18:49 ·
  • 

    Tianna Scott ‎*turns red* I have a dark mind. lol

    28 July at 18:50 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) And for Bek... There is three chances to win... The fanpage, my page, and the writers group Pen to Paper... :-) Tianna won this one... There is two more to go... :-) I will contact you to get delivery details shortly Tianna. :-) im on my phone atm :-)

    28 July at 18:51 ·
  • 

    Rebekah Dodson Good job all :)

    28 July at 18:51 ·
  • 

    Angela M OBrien (Official Fanpage) so do I Tianna... i dont even know where it came from... I wrote it whilst having a smoke and its crypticness made me want to turn it into a comp :-)

    28 July at 18:53 ·
  • 

    Tianna Scott ‎*grins* Ok. Look forward to it

    28 July at 18:53 ·
  • 

    Tracey Panton I stared to get there

    28 July at 19:05 ·

Heart of stone part two: full circle

I was free, I could breathe
Everything was clear to me
Now it's like I came full circle
Encased in stone once more

You freed my heart from the stone
Only to tear it apart, leaving me cold, alone
Now it's like I came full circle
Encased in stone once more

You were the light in my life
I got burned by your sunshine
Now it's like i came full cirlce
Encased in stone once more

You showed my heart what it felt like to be free
Then turned around and tortured me
Now it's like I came full circle
Encased in stone once more

You freed me, saved me, made me believe
Cheated me, deceived me, how can that be
Now it's like I came full circle
Encased in stone once more

You broke away the stone around my heart
And you forced me back to the start
You're the one who broke away the stone
And you're the reason i'm encased once more

Angela M OBrien
28/7/11

Shattered and Scattered

I lay here, at your feet
Begging, please, no more
Tore my heart out and shattered it
All the pieces scattered on the floor

I loved you once, I love you still
But you turned and walked out the door
Tore my heart out and shattered it
All the pieces scattered on the floor

I grabbed your arm, begged you to stay
A chance, I just want one more
Tore my heart out and shattered it
All the pieces scattered on the floor.

You tore my heart out,
Shattered it against a wall
Now I'm left with a million broken pieces
Scattered on the floor

Angela M OBrien
28/7/11

Not ok

inspired by 'Not ok' by MCR

One little smile
No matter how hard to produce
Can hide away a thousand tears
And fool every one of you

Everyone seems so happy
Now that it's all said and done
No one even sees the heartache I suffered
From losing the man I loved

You'll find someone better
Is what they all tell me
But what chance does any guy have
Of being worth my time

I said I wanted him to be it for me
And I meant every last word
I will never fall down and give myself
To another man on this earth

Has anyone stopped to ask
If I'm really doing ok
Or do they simply fall victim
To the fake smile on my face

There is a pain in my heart
You can see it in my eyes
If you look close enough you will see
That this smile is just lies

Because I'm far from ok
It will take quite some time
Maybe a year, maybe ten
Or maybe it will last till I die...

Angela M OBrien
27/7/11

My heart is the worst kind of weapon

It's killing me inside
But behind my fake smile, I try to hide
It doesn't matter what I say or do
I just can't stop loving you

I don't even remember what you did
That made me fall so hard, so quick
But now that I'm here, at this time
Without you I don't know how to survive

My heart plays tricks on my mind
Makes me beleive that everything will be fine
Problem is I can't convince myself of anything else
Cause you're still there when I really need your help

My body will be ok after a while
But my heart dies more, with every fake smile
I just don't know if I'll ever be the same
How can I beleive it was all just a game

The things you said and did
I won't beleive it was just for kicks
You told a whole bunch of people you loved me
How could that be anything but reality

My heart is the worst kind of weapon
It's feeds me lies and kills me from within
All I know is that I actually love you
And I don't forsee a day when it will no longer, be true

Angela M OBrien
27/7/11

Sweet surrender

With every part of me
I mean it when I say
I couldn't love you more
Than I do on this day

Everything about you
Gives me the jitters
From the look in your eyes
To your silent whispers

Some may try, but all will fail
Trying to be, just like you
'Cause you made me surrender
With all that you do

The feel of your hair
The smell of your skin
Even though you're worlds away
I feel you within

The sweetness of you
Makes me want to surrender
And I know that I'll love you
Till the day after forever

Angela M OBrien
26/7/11

Fairy

With beauty and grace
She touches your cheek
With a softness unmatchable
And ever so sweet

She caresses your face
With her tiny little hands
Puts a smile upon your lips
And leaves you feeling grand

Such a precious being
Her beauty cannot be captured
Not even if you try
To simply take her picture

To look at her, sometimes
It can even be scary
To view something so wonderful as
This tiny little fairy

Angela M OBrien
25/7/11

Haunted dreams

Can't sleep anymore
Without seeing your face
Can't get a moments peace
From this never ending fate

I wake up feeling breathless
Like I haven't slept a wink
How am I supposed to fix this
When I don't have time to think

You say it's up to me
To make things right
But I don't know what to do
I don't know how to fight

I just want to forget
Move on with my life
But these dreams are to much to handle
It's causing me strife

I just want to sleep again
Without you always popping up
Please just leave me be
I have had enough

Angela M OBrien
23/7/11

Not me

It's not me you want
What can I possibly do
It wasn't my decision
I wasn't the one to choose

Why don't you just leave me be
Please stop haunting my dreams
Stop telling me I have to fix this thing
Let me live my life in peace

Angela M OBrien
23/7/11

Shatter

week of darkness day seven: 22/7/11

"Shatter"

Glass shatters
Blood splatters
Cant seem to fathom
A murder this random

No motivation
Just satisfaction
At watching your life fade
At the tip of this blade

Glass shatters
Blood splatters
Can't seem to fathom
A murder this random

Your heart slows
My mind blows
I'm taking your life
Then taking you wife's

Angela M OBrien
22/7/11

Slice n dice

week of darkness day six: 21/7/11

"Slice n Dice"
Hiding behind the door
Waiting till I hear you snore
Slice and dice till you're no more
Than a pile on the floor

Start with your hands and feet
In your heart, my two blades meet
Watching you cry out is so sweet
Teach you to be a cunt to me

In my left hand, a knife
Another in my right
And this is the night
I chose to end your life

Angela M OBrien

Darkness claimed me

Week of darkness; Day five

Co-written by Katherine Bath

Today is the day that darkness claimed.

Not feeling like writing. I cannot be blamed.

Today is the day that darkness took,

So a friend wrote this page of this book

Today the darkness sought after my soul

Not a single happy word, could I unfold.

No rhythm today could I find,

All that's left is this dotted line...

Today is the day that darkness claimed.

Not feeling like writing. I cannot be blamed.

Today is the day that darkness took,

So a friend wrote this page of this book.

Today the darkness took my soul,

Never again will I be so bold,

As to sell my soul to Satan.

Just so I could fill these pages.

Angela M OBrien & Katherine Bath

20/7/11

Thanks a bundle Katie for helping me out :)

Insanity

Verse one:
Can't change the pace of this beating heart
Wouldn't even know where to start
Wish I could change it all
Make the lies simply disappear
But I can't change the memory
Can't erase the illusion of what could have been

Chorus:
I wake
To find
You were
Just a dream
An illusion
That kept me safe
From my own
Insanity

Verse Two:
I wish I could turn back time
Take away the punch line
Erase all the lies and replace them with truth
So once again you could be mine
But I can't change the forbidden memory
Can't erase the illusion of what could have been

Chorus:
I wake
To find
You were
Just a dream
An illusion
That kept me safe
From my own
Insanity

Bridge:
It's simply an illusion
A pittyful dellusion
Locked away
In my memory
It's simply an illusion
A pittiful dellusion
To free me from
My own insanity

Chorus:
I wake
To find
You were
Just a dream
An illusion
That kept me safe
From my own
Insanity

End chorus:
I wake
To find
It was only
Just a dream
A great escape
From my
Insanity
Was never more than
A simple illusion
Now I finally see
Once again, I'm free
From your insanity

Angela M OBrien
20/7/11

Black hole

Week of darkness; Day four

"Black hole"

Sucked into the darkness,

Bleeding on the floor,

He came and tore my throat out,

Pulled me into the black hole,

He shall be only mine,

I shall be his queen,

He saved me from the blackness,

Saved me from humanity,

I will serve at his side,

From now until the end of time,

I'm the queen of lucifer,

God can take a hike,

I was pulled into the black hole,

And now I will dance,

In the firey pit, behind hells gate,

While Satan takes my hands.

Angela M OBrien

19/7/11

Truth

Lies bind us, tie us,

give us no way out

if only you knew that

the truth will set you free

True love cant be beaten

cant be rushed, takes its time

Rushed love, hurried love

never really lasts

If you always lie to me

and i always lie to you

we only wind up upside down

too far to find the truth

Dreamer

Fairy tales and fantasies

Lollypops make sweet dreams

Imagine a world so far away

a place where it's safe to play

don't have to be a grown up

you can act like a kid again

it so easy for the dreamer

Angela M OBrien

05/06/2011

Winter morning

6/6/11

Written while waiting for the bus after taking Elsie to school lol.

WINTER MORNING (poem)

Sun is shining

Birds are singing

But I wanna stay in bed

On this cold winter morning

I just wanna stay in bed

Children are playing

People out with their dogs

Don't wanna get up right now

On this cold winter morning

I just wanna stay in bed

Staying under the covers

Not getting up just yet

Getting all snuggly and warm

On this cold winter morning

I just wanna stay in bed

Angela M OBrien

06/06/11

Fraud

"Fraud"

I thought I knew you

I have not a clue

Three years you were my friend

Was any of it true

The long hours at work

The love that you claim

None of it was real

Just a silly game

I'm not a pawn

Not someone to be played

Karma will destroy you

And your dad's head hangs in shame

To see what you have become

He would be turning in his grave

You were supposed to be the good one

Not one who likes to play

You made the truth clear

When you didnt reply

But I'll be fine without you

And I wont ever cry

To me you are nothing

And you've lost a few friends

Even my mother says that

To her you are dead

One thing I wanna know is

Was it really worth it

Was it worth the friends you lost

Did it make you feel happy

I don't think I will ever understand

People like you

You take innocent hearts for a ride

Without a single clue

Angela M OBrien

10/7/11

Heart of stone

HEART OF STONE

Cold and dark

Lonely heart

No one can break the stone

Wont try hard enough

Heart of stone

Most say it's too much trouble

Till the day you came

Brought with you a shovel

Smash it crash it

Crack the stone

Breaking away the pieces

Till my heart's free once more

Angela M OBrien

June 8th 2011

Bitter

after Matty's dark poem about his ex, i decided to write one about mine. Didnt quite come out how i thought it would but I like it. I hope you guys will too...

BITTER

I thought I would be bitter

About all the pain, the bruises I got

During the time we were together

But the honest truth is, I'm not

I loved you once, twice

Three times a fool

Took me too long to move on

Now I'm at peace when it comes to you

I don't love you in the least

But I don't really hate you either

I simply just don't care

Wont let the past make me bitter

I've found new love now

With someone nothing like you

Who loves all my little imperfections, my flaws

He wants me just as I am, unlike you

You tried to make me your barbie doll

Mould me into someone I didn't believe

But he wouldnt change a single thing

Coz he's loving me for me

So I bid you farewell, say my last goodbye

The days of you hurting me have long since gone away

I'm happy now, healthy now, bruises starting to fade

And I will never again have to suffer that kind of pain

Angela M OBrien

15/6/11

Revenge

this one is much MUCH darker... I have a line that you dont cross and one of my friends told me about an ex of theirs that crossed it and it erked me so bad... So here ya go.

REVENGE

Revenge is a dish

Best served with a baseball bat

To the back of the head

Until your body's cold and dead

People like you, get under my skin

Defy every rule I ever beleived in

Living the devilish life, ruled by sin

But when you dance with the devil, you never really win

On a cold dark and lonely night

You'll pay for the things you didnt do right

Everyone will leave you, with a sad and lonely life

With no one to save you when satan takes his prize

Straight to hell with your soiled soul

No chance for you now, to grow old

The truth is what you should have told

Instead of the map of lies that's starting to unfold

Angela M OBrien

15/6/11

Dream

DREAM

In the song you hear him say

'it's only just a dream'

But when it comes to me and you

It's a beautiful reality

People dream for the day to come

When they find their perfect love

Someone to share the rest of their lives with

But you came like a gift, sent from above

You are it for me, never be another

If I get my way and I usually do

I'll have you till the day I die

We'll see our dreams come true

You feel like a dream right now

But that is soon to change

When I see your face, touch your skin

You'll sweep me off my feet like a tidal wave

Angela M OBrien

15/6/11

No idea

"NO IDEA"

You really had no clue

Thought I never cared enough

Thought you weren't good enough

But boy you were so very wrong

Want to know a crazy truth

Sometimes the jealousy got to me

Everyday you were hooked on her

During the time I was free

I know what happened to you

After he lured me back to hell

How you ended up in the hospital

Trying to perfect yourself

You had no idea did you

The only reason i stayed silent

Was because you were so far away

But part of me always wanted it

It took losing you for a year

Then finally getting you back

To make me realise at last

The feelings I think i always had

Angela M OBrien

16/6/11

Rotting corpse

ROTTING CORPSE

Knives to the nose and eyes

Cant see you face anymore

Too much mess to recognise

Who you were before

The smell burns my nose

Your rotting corpse in my yard

You pushed and pushed me

Till the day came when you pushed too hard

Your rotting corpse is a reminder to me

Of the times you stopped me from trying to be free

Now you're nothing but a memory

And a slowly disintergrating body

I will only tollerate so much annoyance

Before the rubber band snaps in your face

Leaving you as nothing more than a rotting corpse

Buried out behind my place.

Angela M OBrien

17/6/11

Broken hearted little boy

BROKEN HEARTED LITTLE BOY

It's bath time now

Time to get ready

The hour is almost here

To go and see daddy

Such an excited little boy

Cant wait to see dad

Till dad rips it out from under

Cause take you he cant

Excuse after lie, lie after excuse

Just hurts him even more

When he gets his hopes up for nothing

He's a broken hearted little boy

I look at my son and i just want to cry

Such a sweet innocent little boy

Cast off by his father, dont know why

Thrown out like a useless toy

Just like an old paper

The comics r old news

You made your bed now lie in it

Coz now he'll never see you

I don't need your excuses

Refuse to hear your lies

Blake doesn't need the broken promises

Doesn't need you in his life

So cast off my son

Be yet another dead beat dad

Before long he'll forget about you

And find a new man to call dad

Angela M OBrien

17/611